Embracing Authenticity: Why It’s Okay Not to Force Thankfulness

Thanksgiving is here, and all around you are things and people telling you to be thankful. It’s on TV, it’s littered on social media, and it’s in your workplaces. While it’s nice to be reminded at times that there are things to be thankful for, it’s important to know that not everyone feels the same level of gratitude. The pressure to conform to the expectations of being grateful, especially when you’re not feeling it, makes an overwhelming time even worse. 

It’s Normal Not to Feel Grateful

There are a lot of “shoulds” during the holiday season, but when you turn on the news, scroll through social media, and even look at your own life right now, it’s probably hard to find things to be grateful for. You’re not alone. 

While we can all agree that it’s beneficial for your well-being to have a grateful mindset, forcing gratitude just isn’t it. Not only does it feel so fake, but it also increases stress and guilt. Everyone is on a unique journey while experiencing varying losses, and gratitude just might not be at the forefront of your mind this season.

So, what do you do when you’re not feeling so thankful?

1 | Look for Micro-Gratitude: Here’s the thing: you might not be able to see big things to be grateful for, but there are likely smaller things. We have love, friendship, and health. Try to find the little things and know that that’s enough.

2 | Help Others: It’s okay to not focus on yourself this season and instead look outward for ways that you can lend a helping hand for someone else. Not only will this help distract you from the things you’re struggling with, it will also bring a smile to your face when you see the relief of another person.

3 | Be Tender and Gentle with Yourself: What would you say to someone in this season? Try saying something like that to yourself. Far too often, we are brash and hard with how we treat ourselves, knowing full well that we would never act that way towards someone we love. Be tender with yourself, and give you what you need most right now.

4 | Focus on What Feels Good or Beautiful: Going out and spending time with your family and forcing a smile might not feel good right now. So what does? What will make you feel lighter and happier? Do that today.

How to Help Someone Else That’s Struggling with Gratitude

Do you know someone who has recently experienced a loss? It’s okay for them to not feel thankful this week. While I know you have good intentions to try to lift their spirits and think of the good in their lives, what they might need more this week is gentleness and a kind gesture.

I recently published a book to guide them through the choppy waters of grief, and it could help them begin to process their experience. Click here to get them a copy today.

This Thanksgiving and holiday season, let’s focus on being authentic and kind. While I know the importance of gratitude, it’s even more important to acknowledge your true feelings and cultivate gratitude in a way that feels genuine to you. Take time to sift through how you’re feeling and be gentle with yourself. We’re all doing the best we can.