Why Community Matters When Grieving
Most people think we experience grief for a short period of time and that after the funeral, or, if they are generous, after the year of “firsts,” we are back at it and living in our normal routine and daily life again. Maybe sometimes we even feel that way. This is wishful thinking, perhaps.
Our losses don’t have a timeline—whether they are a deeply beloved person or pet, a divorce, a friendship breakup, the loss of a job, a home, a livelihood, a sense of belonging, a change in identity, ambiguous losses or anticipatory losses, or collective losses… they are with us for the long run in different ways.
Long after the loss. After the shocking year of firsts.
We don’t just visit grief as tourists. We move in. We live life from this new address and have a whole new life to try to get used to, learn, and relearn. And a life and way of life to mourn. Grief transforms us. It changes everything.
And it can feel so lonely at times.
It's so hard to figure out for some time how it all works in this new grief place. For many of us, our nervous system is in survival mode for a while after our loss, and it has to begin to regulate and calm. It takes time, patience, and effort. And safety in a relationship.
With people, care, love, tender witnessing, and… walking alongside us on the path of grief, it can help make it feel a little less terrifying around every bend because we are not alone with our flashlight in the dark. A family that gets it and doesn’t push, pull, ignore, compare, or take over all the grief is a rare gift. Friends who don’t just give advice to see us happy again but who take time to listen and be with us however we need, for however long we need, indefinitely, is a gift.
A community that can hear and hold the pain, anger, confusion, and sensation of feeling so lost sometimes. A supportive community that understands what you’re going through makes all of the difference in the healing process.
The Importance of Community in Grieving
Grieving can often feel isolating, as if the world around you has moved on while you remain stuck in a painful moment. However, being part of a supportive community can alleviate this sense of isolation. Here’s why community matters when grieving:
Shared Experiences: Grief can make you feel like no one understands your pain. However, in a support group, you'll meet others who have faced similar losses. Sharing your story and hearing others' experiences can foster a sense of belonging and understanding that is incredibly comforting.
Emotional Support: The emotional burden of grief can be overwhelming. In a supportive community, you’ll find people who are willing to listen without judgment, offer comfort, and provide encouragement. This emotional support is crucial for processing your feelings and moving forward.
Practical Advice: Grieving often comes with a host of practical challenges, from handling day-to-day tasks to managing significant life changes. Support groups can be a valuable resource for practical advice and tips on navigating these challenges.
Accountability and Encouragement: Grieving can sap your motivation and energy. Being part of a community offers a level of accountability and encouragement to take steps towards healing. Whether it's attending meetings or engaging in group activities, this support can help you stay on a path to recovery.
Hope and Inspiration: Seeing others who have walked the same path and emerged stronger can be incredibly inspiring. Support groups offer hope that, despite the pain, there is a way forward. Witnessing others' resilience can provide the strength you need to keep going
Where to Look for Support
If you’re looking for this kind of support through a community, I have a special group starting this Fall. It’s going to be a Book-Guided Group that will work through my book, Moving On Doesn’t Mean Letting Go. This will be a larger group with more structure around tangible learning and takeaways from the book.
Click here to learn more and save your spot for this group starting October 1st!
This will be followed by a more intimate group for grief support in November. To be the first to know, you can join a waitlist here.
