No One Wants to Talk about Grief on the Beach: Change of Season Grief over the Summer

There is a lot of talk about “Change of Season” Grief during the fall and winter seasons because the weather is so gloomy, it naturally bends to more feelings of sadness (paired with the body’s response to less sunlight). But what many people forget and likely wrongfully assume is that this seasonal grief doesn’t occur in the warmer months. Let’s be honest, though—no one wants to talk about grief and loss at the beach. And how many support groups go on summer breaks, as if our grief is going on a vacation, too? 

The summer months can be hard for people experiencing grief and loss because there are a lot of memories held in these warmer months. Anniversaries, birthdays, celebrations, and vacations still take part in these months and can easily trigger the grief waves to come crashing in.

Then, of course, you add in the natural comparison game and FOMO that arises for most people during the summer, and you have a good concoction of potential sadness and loneliness.

So what can you do to help in this new season where most of our most supportive friends want to see us happy at the BBQ?

Ways to Work Through and Cope With “Change of Season Grief”

Be Prepared

Prepare ahead of time for the moments you already know bring heavy grief. Will going to that one person’s house or that specific event bring up uncomfortable feelings for you? Make a Plan A, B, and C for events coming up, and gauge your readiness as you get closer. Remember, it’s okay to cancel plans at the last minute.

Plan Things to Look Forward To

It’s important to have things set on the calendar that you will look forward to. Maybe it’s an activity you love, a reunion with people who love you, something that feels comforting, or something that just sounds fun. You need to have things to look forward to.

Slow and Gentle

Slow down during these months and move gently through the days. Your body will be feeling this change, so pay even more attention to your body and what it needs.

Honor Traditions and Rituals

There are some things that you want to hold on to, and you should. If a tradition or ritual feels good and brings a sense of comforting connection, continue it! It will look and feel differently, but it will also bring a closeness that could bring joy.

Create New Traditions

Think of some things that you’ve seen other people do that sound fun, and try some out! Creating new rhythms and traditions is a great way to build things to look forward to and gently move outside your comfort zone.

Talk to Someone

With support groups on break and people on vacation, it can begin to feel lonely. It’s important to continue to talk to someone you trust, a friend, family member, or professional, about what’s coming up for you.

Allow Yourself to Feel

Even if you’re tired of feeling how you feel, and you feel it every year, allow yourself to feel what you feel. Spend a moment honoring and giving it permission to be present. You can’t integrate what you don’t feel.

I know this isn’t easy. I know that the memories that are reawakened are heavy. And I know how challenging it can be to try and explain why you’re experiencing grief over something that may seem menial to someone else. Maybe it’s a specific place, a holiday, or an experience that stirs something within your soul that you just can’t shake. I’ve been there, too. 

Don’t fake being “okay,” and don’t accept loneliness as an answer. 

Reach out for support, share your needs, and take care of your body. While it may be easier to get outside in the sunshine, you still need other support to help carry you through. And that’s okay. You don’t need to go through this alone.